SHOW
20 -- SEASON PREMIERE
Guests: The Jackson Five, Governor Ronald Reagan, Larry Storch,
Wilfrid Wyde-White and Howard Keel
1.
Sonny and Cher open the show with "Let Me Down Easy" and banter
about their marriage and individual honors.
2. Sonny and Cher introduce
Michael Jackson and talk to him about his accomplishments.
3. The Jackson Five perform
"Looking Through the Window"
4. The Bonos present the first
"Sonny Bono Show Business Award" to California's Governor Ronald
Reagan, who in turn thanks them with one of his old dedication
speeches.
5. Cher sings "Say It Isn't
So"
6. Michael Jackson sings "Ben"
7. A gypsy fortune teller
(Cher) warns Sonny that he is about to be attacked, strangled
and robbed.
8. Sonny and Cher perform
a medley of "Brother Love's Traveling Salvation Show" and "Mr.
Tambourine Man"
9. "The Vamps" -- Cleopatra
(Cher) finds herself having to choose between Mark Anthony (Sonny)
and Julius Caesar (Larry); and Sadie Thompson (Cher) and the preacher
(Sonny) are visited by Sir Francis Winchester (Wilfrid), a famous
yachtsman who is sailing around the world alone.
10. "The Cultural Spot" --
In an operetta composed of TV commercials, Howard is cast as an
emperor who has decreed that no one in the land can marry until
his daughter, the fair Pamela Ann (Cher), is wed. The problem
is, the frigid princess will only settle for someone who can give
her something unusual and bizarre.
11. Sonny and Cher, with daughter
Chastity, close the show with "I Got You Babe"
SHOW 21
Guests: Jerry Lewis and The Supremes, Cameo appearance by Bobby
Sherman
1. Sonny and Cher open the
show with "With a Little Help From My Friends" and banter about
Sonny having been asked to perform at the White House.
2. Cher sings "He's Funny
That Way"
3. Jerry is featured in a
comedy sketch about the Three Musketeers.
4. "The Vamps" -- Snow White
(Cher) has an affair with a woodsman (Jerry), who disguises himself
as six of the seven dwarfs in an attempt to elude her husband,
Prince Charming (regular Ted Zeigler); and the ghoulish Vampira
(Cher) calls upon an unsuspecting TV repairman (Jerry) to fix
her set.
5. The Supremes perform "Your
Wonderful, Sweet, Sweet Love"
6. Jerry appears as a chess
champion whose annoying habits distract his opponent (Sonny).
7. Sonny and Cher perform
a medley of "I Just Want To Celebrate" and "Take a Look Around"
8. "Headlines In the Papers"
-- Jerry joins the show's regulars in a series of blackouts and
one-liners based on current events in the news, such as the disappearance
of $5,000,000 that was dropped from a skyjacked airplane, the
political candidates, ecology, and how enlisted women are being
treated the same as the men.
9. Sonny and Cher thank Jerry
and close the show with "I Got You Babe"
SHOW
22
Guests: Chad Everett and Bobby Sherman
1.
Sonny and Cher open the show with "Happy Together" and banter
about their habit of poking fun at one another.
2. Bobby sings "Marching To
the Music"
3. After a gypsy fortune teller
(Cher) changes Chad and Bobby into the greatest song and dance
team in the world, she makes Sonny sing "like he's never sung
before."
4. Cher sings "When the Sun
Comes Out"
5. "The Vamps" -- The love-starved
Elizabeth Regina (Cher), daughter of the beheaded Anne Boleyn,
desperately tries to get kissed by Sir Walter Raleigh (Bobby),
Sir Francis Drake (Chad) and the royal messenger (Sonny); comic
strip heroine Brenda Starr (Cher) longs to meet her mystery man,
whom she only knows will be wearing a patch over one eye; and
Tarzan (Sonny) becomes jealous of a doctor (Chad) who comes to
the jungle to open a medical center and gets smitten with Jane
(Cher).
6. Sonny and Cher perform
a medley of "Simple Song Of Freedom" and "Look What They've Done
To My Song, Ma"
7. "The Cultural Spot" --
Cher is featured as Lady Godiva in a musical sketch set to the
tune of Dixieland and the blues, with Chad playing her wealthy
husband, the Earl of Coventry, who's been heavily overtaxing the
townspeople, Bobby as one of the irritated peasants asking for
her help, and Sonny as Peeping Tom.
8. Sonny and Cher close the
show.
SHOW
23
Guests: Tony Curtis and Barbara McNair
1.
Sonny and Cher open the show with "For Once In My Life" and banter
about Sonny having been asked to pose for a nude centerfold.
2. Cher sings "A Song For
You"
3. "The Cultural Spot" --
Detective Fat (Tony) is hired by Gangster Big, a rotund mobster
(regular Ted Zeigler), to find out which one of his overweight
gang has a contract out on him. The suspects include Penelope
Plump, his moll (Cher); Sally Stout, a singer in his nightclub
(Barbara); and Harry Obese, Mr. Big's driver (Sonny).
4. Barbara sings a medley
of "I Believe In Music" and "Without a Song"
5. A gypsy fortune teller
(Cher) grants Tony his dream of becoming a great cowboy.
6. Sonny and Cher sing "A
Cowboy's Work Is Never Done" to an animated piece by cartoonist
John Wilson.
7. Sonny joins Tony on an
invisible bench in the park.
8. Sonny and Cher perform
"Thunder and Lightning"
9. "The Vamps" -- Scheherazade
(Cher) hopes to convince an Arabian sheik (Tony) to spare her
life one more day by entertaining him with another of her stories;
and Lady Macbeth (Cher) persuades her husband, Lord Macbeth (Tony),
to kill King Duncan and seize the throne of Scotland. (Sonny is
Macduff, who comes to avenge the murdered king, and regular Ted
Zeigler appears as the ghost of William Shakespeare, who comes
to avenge the murder of the play.)
10. Sonny and Cher, with daughter
Chastity, close the show with "I Got You Babe"
SHOW 24
Guests: Jimmy Durante and Gilbert O'Sullivan
1. Sonny and Cher open the
show with "There's a Kind Of Hush" and an opening dialogue.
2. "Raggedy Sonny and Raggedy
Cher" -- The Gingerbread Man (Jimmy) drops by to chat with the
two rag dolls.
3. Cher sings "Why Was I Born?"
4. Sonny portrays a bullfighter
in this blackout of a Spanish-Mexican musical.
5. Gilbert sings "Clair"
6. Jimmy and Cher are featured
in a song-and-dance segment, poking fun at their noses.
7. Sonny and Cher sing "The
Candy Man" to a cartoon animated by John Wilson.
8. Sonny and Cher perform
"Up On Cripple Creek"
9. "The Vamps" -- Priscilla
Mullens (Cher) has to choose between John Alden (Jimmy) and Miles
Standish (Sonny); Anna (Cher) has to report to the King of Siam
(Sonny) to receive her new teaching assignment; and Martha Washington
(Cher) attempts to get husband George (Jimmy) to spend more time
with her and less with Benjamin Franklin (Sonny).
10. Sonny and Cher, with daughter
Chastity, close the show with "I Got You Babe"
SHOW
25
Guests: Robert Goulet and The Temptations
1.
Sonny and Cher open the show with "Two Of Us" and banter featuring
Cher teasing Sonny about everything from his singing to his mother.
2. "Sonny's Pizza Parlor"
-- In an effort to draw more customers to the pizzeria, Sonny
decides to hire a tall, dark and handsome singer (Robert), who
immediately catches the eye of Sonny's girl (Cher).
3. The Temptations perform
a medley of "Smiling Faces Sometimes", "Take a Look Around", and
"Superstar (Remember How You Got Where You Are)".
4. Robert sings "A House Is
Not a Home"
5. A gypsy fortune teller
(Cher) predicts that if Robert would give her one dollar, his
generosity will be returned twofold.
6. Sonny and Cher perform
"You Don't Mess Around With Jim"
7. Cher sings "Can't Help
Lovin' That Man Of Mine"
8. "The Cultural Spot" --
Robert appears as Captain Gorgeous in an operatic spoof of the
French Foreign Legion, a haven for anyone who has something to
forget, set to the tune of Hawaiian music. (Also featured are
regular Ted Zeigler as the leader of a neighboring Arab tribe,
Cher as the seductive Little Egypt, Sonny as the Sheik Salami,
and The Temptations as guards.)
9. Sonny and Cher close the
show with "I Got You Babe"
SHOW
26
Guests: William Conrad and Rick Springfield, Cameo appearance
by Van Johnson
1.
Sonny and Cher open the show with "From Me To You" and banter
about their daughter and child psychology.
2. Sonny consults a gypsy
fortune teller (Cher) on how to make his life more exciting and
winds up getting arrested for insulting the local sheriff (William).
3. Cher sings "He Ain't Heavy,
He's My Brother"
4. "Sonny's Pizza Parlor"
-- William plays his Cannon role for laughs as he comes to the
pizzeria looking for six veterans of the Korean War.
5. William sings "The Men
In My Little Girl's Life"
6. Rick makes his American
network television debut, singing "What Would the Children Think?"
7. Sonny presents Rick with
the Bono Award for bringing his great talent to the show.
8. Pool shark San Quentin
Spats (William) is challenged by Minnesota Short (Sonny).
9. "Headlines In the Papers"
-- William and Rick join the show's regulars for a montage of
skits and one-liners poking fun at people and events in the news,
such as the controversial land development plans in Yosemite National
Forest and public auction of one of the last old-time Hollywood
studios, as well as "live" interviews with the inebriated winner
of a wine-tasting marathon (regular Ted Zeigler) and engineer
who developed an automobile guaranteed to emit virtually no smog
into the air (Sonny).
10. Sonny and Cher perform
"Never Been To Spain"
11. Sonny and Cher, with daughter
Chastity, close the show with "I Got You Babe"
SHOW
27
Guests: Lorne Greene and The Williams Brothers
1.
Sonny and Cher open the show with "You Didn't Have To Be So Nice"
and an opening dialogue.
2. Lorne plays an overthrown
Latin president facing a firing squad.
3. The Williams Brothers (Andy's nephews Andy and David)
sing "Falling, Falling, Gone"
4. Sonny and Cher perform
"Ease Your Pain"
5. Lorne sings "M-O-T-H-E-R"
6. Lorne recites a sports
poem about slaves versus gladiators.
7. Cher sings "The Man I Love"
8. "The Vamps" -- Lorne is
featured as Leonardo da Vinci and Prince Charming, opposite Cher's
vamps of Mona Lisa and Cinderella.
SHOW 28
Guest: Bobby Darin
1.
Sonny and Cher open the show with "I Need You" and banter about
Sonny's mother.
2. Bobby sings "Sail Away"
3. "The Vamps" -- Helen Of
Troy (Cher) tries to come to the aid of her husband (Bobby) by
seducing a Greek warrior (Sonny) in an effort to get him to tell
her all about his plans for the invasion of Troy; Clark Kent (Bobby)
allows ace reporter Lois Lane (Cher) to watch him change into
Superman (Sonny) so that she'll give him her heart; and Sadie
Thompson (Cher) and the preacher (Sonny) are joined by a pair
of desperate criminals who've escaped from Devil's Island (Bobby
and regular Freeman King).
4. Cher sings "Willow Weep
For Me"
5. "The Cultural Spot" --
In a comedy sketch set to American college songs, King Richard
the Lionhearted (Sonny) regains his throne and suggests that Robin
Hood (series regular Bruce Tuthill) duel it out with the evil
Sheriff of Nottingham (Bobby), who's come for his revenge against
the merry men of Sherwood Forest by taking Maid Marian (Cher)
to his dungeon and stretching her on the racks.
6. Sonny and Cher perform
a medley of "The Beat Goes On", "United We Stand" and "Without
You"
SHOW
29
Guests: Ken Berry and The New Seekers
1.
Sonny and Cher open the show with "You've Got Your Troubles" and
banter about Cher's habit of watching late-night monster movies
on TV when she goes to bed.
2. Ken sings and tap dances
to "I Can't Be Bothered Now", with Sonny and Cher appearing as
his valet and maid, trying to give him an important message.
3. "Sonny's Pizza Parlor"
-- Sonny mistakes the owner of another nearby restaurant (Ken)
for the food inspector which Rosa (Cher) had warned him was coming
to the pizzeria.
4. A disturbed woman (Cher)
is asked by officers to identify the man who assaulted her.
5. Cher sings "By Myself"
6. The New Seekers sing "Come
Softly To Me"
7. Ken appears as an executive
producer to the stars, introducing a preview of Sonny and Cher's
Broadway debut.
8. "Sonny and Cher On Broadway"
-- Sonny and Cher dream about being big vaudeville stars on the
live stage of Broadway back at the turn of the century. (Ken is
cast as their lyricist, regular Ted Zeigler appears as their publisher,
and regular Billy Van plays a big theatrical producer who's looking
for fresh, versatile talent for his new musical.)
9. Sonny and Cher perform
a medley of "Stagger Lee" and "Rip It Up"
10. Sonny and Cher, with daughter
Chastity, close the show with "I Got You Babe"
SHOW
30
Guests: Jim Brown and Bobby Vinton
1.
Sonny and Cher open the show with "Bad Moon Rising" and an opening
dialogue.
2. Jim and Bobby appear in
a football sketch about astrology on the gridiron.
3. Cher sings "Here's That
Rainy Day"
4. Cher plays a female quarterback
in a wacky spoof of football.
5. Bobby sings "Sealed With
a Kiss"
6. Sonny and Cher perform
"Together Let's Find Love"
7. Jim and Bobby join Sonny
and Cher for "Yes, No, Maybe"
8. "Way Down Upon the Mississippi
Mud" -- The entire cast takes part in an opera takeoff about an
evil plantation owner (Bobby), a cool gambler (Jim) and a riverboat
belle (Cher).
SHOW
31
Guest: Andy Griffith
1. Sonny and Cher open the
show with "Do You Believe In Magic?" and an opening dialogue.
2. Cher performs a medley
of Al Jolson favorites, including "Sonny Boy", "My Mammy" and
"Rock-a-Bye Your Baby With a Dixie Melody."
3. "The Vamps" -- Cher is
featured in comedy segments as Helen Gurley Brown, Amber (of Forever
Amber) and Sadie Thompson.
4. Andy sings "Somebody Bigger
Than You and I"
5. Andy joins Sonny and Cher
in a spoof of Bridget Loves Bernie.
6. Sonny and Cher perform
"Baby, Don't Get Hooked On Me"
SHOW 32 -- SPECIAL CHRISTMAS SHOW
Guest: William Conrad
1.
Sonny and Cher open the show with "Jingle Bells" and banter about
their new time slot on Wednesday nights and Sonny's present to
Cher.
2. Two street Santas (William
and regular Freeman King) fight over the same corner.
3. Sonny and Cher sing "Black
and White" to an animated interpretation of the song by cartoonist
John Wilson.
4. "Sonny's Pizza Parlor"
-- As the gang at the pizzeria are working on Christmas Eve, a
Jewish bill collector sent from the Department of Water and Power
(William) comes to turn off their electricity.
5. Sonny and Cher reminisce
about last year's Christmas at home with daughter Chastity and
join the show's regulars for an old-fashioned medley of Christmas
carols. Featured songs include: "A Gift Of Song" (Cher), "O Come,
All Ye Faithful" (The Earl Brown Singers), "The First Noel" (William),
"Deck the Halls" (All), "O, Holy Night" (Cher), "Joy To the World"
(All), and "We Wish You a Merry Christmas" (All).
6. "Sonny and Cher On Vacation"
-- William is cast as the owner of the Peaceful Valley Ski Lodge,
where the Bonos have gone to spend their time off together, hoping
to relax in uninterrupted comfort (as the brochures had promised)
and get far away from the "glitter and glamour of Hollywood."
7. Cher sings "It Came Upon
a Midnight Clear" and "One Tin Soldier" as background dubbing
for another John Wilson animation.
8. William recites the poem
"One Solitary Life"
9. Sonny and Cher, with daughter
Chastity, thank their guest and close the show.
SHOW
33
Guests: Jean Stapleton and Lyle Waggoner
1.
Sonny and Cher open the show with "Love Grows" and banter about
why their marriage is so successful.
2. "Sonny's Pizza Parlor"
-- Jean appears as an Italian signora determined to marry Sonny,
following his proposal to her on New Year's Eve.
3. "The Second Annual Bono
Awards" -- Lyle Perfect (Waggoner) hosts the ceremony, with the
statuettes being presented to such reluctant winners as "the most
embarrassing couple on The Newlywed Game" (Sonny and Cher); musical
director Johnny Mann (regular Billy Van), leading his Stand Up
and Cheer singers; entertainers Julie Andrews (Jean) and Carol
Burnett (Cher) for having had the favorite variety show; and a
special humanitarian award presented to the director and founder
of the "Home For Elderly Television Performers" in Anaheim (Jean).
4. Jean gives a confusing
lecture on the Chinese science of acupuncture.
5. Cher sings "Love Song"
6. "The Gloria Majestic Story"
-- Jean is cast as the ingenue in a musical spoof of All About
Eve, with Cher playing the aging star and Sonny as her ex-leading
man.
7. Sonny and Cher close the
show with "I Got You Babe"
SHOW 34
Guest: Mark Spitz, Cameo appearance by Jerry Lewis
1. Cher comes out with Olympic
great Mark Spitz, hoping to pass him off as Sonny.
2. Sonny and Cher open the
show with "All I Really Want To Do" and banter about how Sonny
feels Cher's weekly barbs are destroying his image.
3. "The Vamps" -- While going
through the woods to get to her grandmother's house, Little Red
Riding Hood (Cher) is approached by the Big Bad Wolf (Sonny) and
his new replacement (Mark); King Arthur (Sonny) asks Sir Lancelot
(Mark) to keep a watchful eye over Queen Guinevere (Cher) while
he is off dragon hunting; and Sadie Thompson (Cher) and the preacher
(Sonny) are visited by an English Channel swimmer who has gotten
off course (Mark).
4. A gypsy fortune teller
(Cher) gives Mark seven gypsy gold medals, which he sells to Sonny
for $100.
5. Sonny and Cher perform
"I Can See Clearly Now"
6. A woman (Cher) complains
to her sexual therapy doctor (regular Ted Zeigler) that her husband
(Sonny) doesn't want to have any fun.
7. Cher sings "You've Got
a Friend"
8. "Headlines In the Papers"
-- Mark joins the show's regulars for a series of skits and one-liners
based on current events and personalities in the news, including
Henry Kissinger, Howard Hughes, the passing of the world's largest
elephant, the brutal roller derby competition, the testing of
the first all-rubber car, and the world premiere of a controversial
X-rated movie.
9. Sonny and Cher, with daughter
Chastity, close the show with "I Got You Babe"
SHOW
35
Guest: Mike Connors
1.
Sonny and Cher open the show with "Jackson" and banter about how
Sonny believes he has been blessed with good luck.
2. Mike offers a confusing
explanation of the government's rapid transit system.
3. Sonny and Cher perform
"Rockin' Pneumonia and the Boogie Woogie Flu"
4. "Sonny and Cher At the
White House" -- Mike joins the Bonos in a musical production about
a new, fresh candidate for the Senate (Sonny) who marries a chic
women's lib reporter (Cher) and their rise to the Presidency.
5. "Mr. and Ms." -- Househusband
Sonny goes into a jealous rage when Cher comes home late from
the office.
6. Cher sings "Bridge Over
Troubled Water"
7. "The Villains" -- Mike,
who often played the bad guy before he became Mannix on TV, turns
nasty again in a takeoff on the "Vamp" segment. In comedy sketches,
a tough gangster boss (Mike) orders two of his goons to put the
feet of the Federal agent they caught (Sonny) in wet cement; a
Gestapo captain (Mike) interrogates his prisoner (Sonny), in an
effort to get a pair of tickets to the Bob Hope Christmas show;
and an evil court adviser (Mike) plots to seize control of the
throne by having the queen (Cher) arrested.
8. Sonny and Cher sing "Something"
9. Sonny and Cher, with daughter
Chastity, close the show with "I Got You Babe"
SHOW 36
Guests: Merv Griffin, Larry Storch and The Mike Curb Congregation
1.
Sonny and Cher open the show with "Lodi" and banter about Sonny's
top movie picks of the year.
2. "Sonny's Pizza Parlor"
-- Merv is cast as a detective who comes to the pizzeria to investigate
a series of holdups in the area, with Larry appearing as a suspected
gangster (a la Marlon Brando in The Godfather).
3. Merv joins The Mike Curb
Congregation for "Happy To Know You"
4. "Headlines In the Papers"
-- Merv and Larry join the show's regulars for a montage of skits
and one-liners poking fun at individuals and topics currently
in the news, such as how some police officers (in their battle
against mugging) are dressing as women, the doctor shortage across
the country, comedian Bob Hope's announcement that this year could
be his last Christmas show for our soldiers stationed overseas,
the debate of government pressure affecting TV programming, and
the sale of outdated space equipment from the Apollo project.
5. Two seagulls (Sonny and
Merv) discuss how much their lives have changed since the success
of their best-selling books.
6. Sonny and Cher sing "Love
Story" to cartoonist John Wilson's animation.
7. A gypsy fortune teller
(Cher) warns Sonny that a con man (Larry) will try to take all
of his money and make a fool out of him.
8. Cher sings "Someone"
9. Sonny and Cher perform
"Brother Love's Traveling Salvation Show"
10. Sonny and Cher, with daughter
Chastity, close the show with "I Got You Babe"
SHOW 37
Guest: Jim Nabors
1. Sonny and Cher open the
show with "I'll Follow the Sun" and banter about Sonny's hopes
that his memoirs could be made into a movie.
2. "The Vamps" -- Tokyo Rose
(Cher) seduces a captured American soldier (Jim) to get him to
tell her who his general is; Mary Poppins (Cher) offers to help
a beleaguered father (Jim) control his two obnoxious children
(Sonny and regular Teri Garr); and Klondike Annie (Cher) persuades
Sergeant Preston of the Mounties (Jim) to abandon his plan to
have her arrested for stealing gold and driving the miners crazy.
3. Cher sings "Just For a
Thrill"
4. "The Cultural Spot" --
In a Canadian-Indian opera set to rock and roll music, the beautiful
Princess Running Home (Cher) turns down the marriage proposal
of the local witch doctor (Jim) so that she can be free to marry
the real love of her life, an officer of the Royal Canadian Mounted
Police (Sonny).
5. A gypsy fortune teller
(Cher) cuts in on Sonny's performance of "My Way", causing him
to vow that he'll never attempt to do another solo on the show
again.
6. Jim sings "Good Time Charlie's
Got the Blues"
7. Sonny and Cher perform
"Listen To the Music"
8. Sonny and Cher, with daughter
Chastity, thank their guest and close the show.
SHOW 38 -- SPECIAL VALENTINE DAY'S SHOW
Guests: Joe Namath and The Playboy Playmates, Cameo appearance
by Hugh Hefner
1. Sonny and Cher open the
show with "Jambalaya" and banter about Valentine's Day.
2. Cher sings "My Funny Valentine"
3. Joe highlights the show
with his reading of calendar poetry, which features twelve Playboy
centerfold Playmates dressed as the twelve months of the year.
4. "Sonny's Pizza Parlor"
-- Joe comes to the pizzeria and makes a big impression on Sonny
and Rosa (Cher).
5. Sonny and Cher perform
"It Never Rains In Southern California"
6. Joe joins Sonny and Cher
in a musical finale showing the ways to a girl's heart.
7. Sonny and Cher, with daughter
Chastity, close the show with "I Got You Babe"
SHOW
39
Guest: Danny Thomas, Cameo appearance by Kerry Ann Wells, "Miss
Universe Of 1972"/ "Miss Australia"
1. Sonny and Cher open the
show with "Put a Little Love In Your Heart" and banter about Sonny's
new plan to make an adult movie.
2. "The Vamps" -- Dr. Frankenstein
(Danny) creates a bride (Cher) for his monster (regular Ted Zeigler);
the notorious Lucrezia Borgia (Cher) is poisoned by the kingdom's
pizza delivery man (Sonny), with Danny appearing as an Italian
piano player; and Sadie Thompson (Cher) gets a surprise visit
from Big Louie (Danny), her old childhood sweetheart who is now
a crime boss.
3. A gypsy fortune teller
(Cher) predicts that Sonny will meet Miss Universe and that he'll
make quite an impression on her.
4. Sonny and Cher perform
a medley of "I Believe In Music" and "Put Your Hand In the Hand"
5. "Mr. and Ms." -- Sonny
flies into a jealous rage when Cher pays too much attention to
the new French maid he's interviewing (Danny).
6. "Sonny and Cher On the
Road To Sirocco" -- Danny is cast as an Arabian sheik who persuades
Cher to join his harem in a musical takeoff on the Bob Hope-Bing
Crosby road movies.
7. Cher sings "How Long Has
This Been Going On?"
8. Sonny and Cher, with daughter
Chastity, close the show with "I Got You Babe"
SHOW
40
Guest: Don Adams
1.
Sonny and Cher open the show with "Got To Get You Into My Life"
and banter about Sonny's dream of being the President Of the United
States.
2. "The Vamps" -- Swimming
queen Esther Williams (Cher) falls hook, line and sinker for a
fisherman (Sonny), an act that doesn't particularly impress her
underwater father, King Neptune (Don); Sandra, the fictitious
woman from Shangri-La (Cher), informs her father (Sonny) that
she would like to share the secret of eternal life with Ronald
Colman (Don); and Superman (Sonny), Batman (Don) and Wonder Woman
(Cher) enter the same public phone booth to change into their
super hero outfits and rescue a stranger on the street (regular
Ted Zeigler) who's being attacked by a wild gorilla.
3. "Headlines In the Papers"
-- Don joins the show's regulars for a montage of skits and one-liners
based on current events and people in the news, such as the Vietnam
War, inflation, female jockeys and the prison system's new conjugal
visits.
4. Sonny and Cher perform
"Mama Was a Rock and Roll Singer . . . Papa Used To Write All
Her Songs"
5. Cher sings "Never Been
To Spain"
6. "Hollywood Hospital" --
Don is cast as Doctor Spectacular in a musical takeoff on Tinseltown's
medical profession, where the stars come for face lifts, voice
transplants and the removal of terminal wrinkles. (Cher plays
Don's assistant, Dr. Gorgeous, and Sonny is their patient, who
has checked into the hospital to be made over into a handsome
singing star.)
7. Sonny and Cher, with daughter
Chastity, close the show with "I Got You Babe"
SHOW 41
Guest: John Byner
1.
Sonny and Cher open the show with "Personality" and banter about
Sonny's latest idea of opening his own music school.
2. John is featured in a repetitive
vaudeville routine about tap dancers whose top hats are taken
by the previous performers.
3. Sonny and Cher perform
"Crocodile Rock"
4. "The Cultural Spot" --
John appears as Clyde Heavy, a hip disc jockey, in "The Big Hit
Parade", a musical satire of rock and roll flicks from the '50s.
Cher has the role of Brenda Starfilter, the poor little rich girl,
and Sonny is cast as a down-and-out rock singer who is waiting
for his big break. Songs featured in the oldies finale include:
"Tweedle Dee", "Rockin' Robin", "Reelin' and Rockin'", "Do Ya
Wanna Dance", "Your Mama Don't Dance" and "Rockin' Pneumonia and
the Boogie Woogie Flu."
5. In response to viewer requests,
Sonny and Cher once again show animator John Wilson's interpretation
of the song "Black and White."
6. "Mr. and Ms." -- Sonny
comes home to tell Cher that he's just been assaulted by an aggressive
woman while taking a short cut through the alley.
7. "Sonny's Pizza Parlor"
-- John impersonates Groucho Marx as an entrepreneur managing
the career of a singing starlet (regular Teri Garr).
8. Cher sings "Alfie"
9. Sonny and Cher, with daughter
Chastity, close the show with "I Got You Babe"
SHOW
42
Guest: Tennessee Ernie Ford
1.
Sonny and Cher open the show with "Oh, Babe, What Would You Say?"
and an opening monologue.
2. Cher sings "Am I Blue?"
3. "Sonny's Pizza Parlor"
-- Ernie plays a flimflam artist trying to persuade Sonny to franchise
his pizza parlor.
4. Ernie sings "Printers'
Alley Stars"
5. Sonny and Cher perform
"Dancing In the Moonlight"
6. Ernie cuts up as a sword-waving
samurai in a Japanese opera set to Irish music.
SHOW
43
Guest: Lyle Waggoner, Cameo appearances by Chad Everett, William
Conrad, Jean Stapleton, Tennessee Ernie Ford and Carol Burnett
1.
Sonny and Cher open the show with "Sunshine, Lollipops and Rainbows"
and banter about Sonny's attempt to write his own script for the
show.
2. "The Vamps" -- In a takeoff
on The Perils Of Pauline serial, Binky (Sonny) rescues the matinee
damsel (Cher) from the sinister hands of Snidely (regular Ted
Zeigler); the king of Siam (Sonny) interviews Anna (Cher) for
the position of his royal governess; and Sadie Thompson (Cher)
tells the preacher (Sonny) that she heard a respected travelogue
maker (regular Billy Van) is coming to make a film of their island.
3. "Sonny's Pizza Parlor"
-- Everyone anxiously awaits the arrival of the reverend that
Sonny found to marry Luigi (regular Billy Van).
4. Cher sings "I Got It Bad
and That Ain't Good"
5. "The Cultural Spot" --
A glib Lyle hosts the third annual presentation of "The Bono Awards",
the world's least coveted prize. The statuettes are presented
to such reluctant winners as Chad Everett (for his outstanding
performance on Medical Center); host Jim McCave (Sonny) of The
Wide World Of Sports (for having brought the world's most obscure
sports to television); William Conrad of Cannon, who proves that
fat people can cry; Jean Stapleton (in recognition of her courage
and bravery beyond the call of show business for having made more
than one guest appearance on The Sonny and Cher Comedy Hour last
season); entertainer Tennessee Ernie Ford (for having had the
best performance by a funny country singer who is named after
a state); and Carol Burnett, who comes out dressed as Cher (for
having been named the most gracious lady on television).
6. Sonny and Cher, with daughter
Chastity, close the show with "I Got You Babe"
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