SHOW
1 -- PREMIERE
Cameo appearances by: Carol Burnett, Tony Orlando, Jerry Lewis,
Rona Barrett, Raymond Burr, Paul Michael Glaser, Richard Thomas,
Jim Nabors and Don Meredith
1. Sonny and Cher open the
show with banter about their getting back together and a duet
of "Love Will Keep Us Together."
2. "Teams" -- Sonny and Cher
appear in a series of comedy sketches about famous duos, including
Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers, Bugs Bunny and Elmer Fudd, and
George and Martha Washington.
3. "The Sonnytone News" --
Numerous headlines in the news are satirized in a montage of blackouts
and animated sequences.
4. Cher sings "Breaking Up
Is Hard To Do"
5. "The CIA Follies" -- The
members gather to discuss their organization's public image.
6. Sonny and Cher perform
a medley of "You've Got a Friend" and "Where You Lead"
7. Sonny and Cher close the
show with "I Got You Babe"
SHOW
2
Guest: Raymond Burr
1. Sonny and Cher open the
show with "It Takes Two" and banter about Sonny asking Cher for
a little constructive criticism.
2. A sorrowful Raymond returns
his "pet rock", claiming that it died on him.
3. "The Case Book Of Sam Spade"
-- Elderly detective Sam Spade (Sonny) recalls "the case of the
missing case" he solved in Morocco, with Cher cast as "the lady
in red" who is dressed in yellow.
4. Cher sings "You Make Me
Feel Brand New"
5. "Teams" -- In a series
of sketches spotlighting famous duos, Charlie McCarthy (Sonny)
tells Edgar Bergen (Raymond) why he didn't get a good report card,
and the Lone Ranger (Sonny) finds out that Tonto (Cher) is really
a girl.
6. Sonny and Cher perform
"I Can See Clearly Now"
7. Raymond delivers his rendition
of "The Windmills Of Your Mind"
8. "The Sonny and Cher Monstrel
Show" -- Raymond is featured as the ghoulish emcee of a monster-ridden
vaudeville show.
9. Sonny and Cher close the
show with "I Got You Babe"
SHOW
3
Guests: Neil Sedaka, Cameo appearance by Evel Knievel
1. Sonny and Cher open the
show with "More Today Than Yesterday" and banter about Sonny attempting
to deliver his recitation of "Fly, Robin, Fly"
2. "The Sonnytone News" --
In comedy blackouts, the people of China celebrate chairman Mao
Tse-tung's birthday by honoring him with a new national anthem;
King Kong's latest love interest (Cher) talks to the ape about
the subject of marriage; the president of a famous western nation
gives skiing lessons to world leaders assembled in Vail, Colorado;
and daredevil Evel Knievel tries to get approved for accident
insurance coverage.
3. "Musical Murder On the
Oriental Choo Choo" -- Neil is cast as the train conductor in
a musical takeoff of the film "Murder On the Orient Express."
(Sonny plays the Belgian sleuth who's brought in to find out who
killed a wealthy Texan on the train, and Cher portrays a Russian
countess in whose compartment the dead man was found.)
4. Neil joins Sonny and Cher
for a medley of his greatest hits, including: "The Hungry Years",
"Breaking Up Is Hard To Do", "Sad Eyes", "Calendar Girl", "Laughter
In the Rain" and "That's When the Music Takes Me"
5. "A Woman Behind Every Man"
-- Having only had enough wool to knit Napoleon (Sonny) one mitten,
Josephine (Cher) suggests that he put his other hand in his clothing;
Popeye (Sonny) and Brutus (regular Ted Zeigler) threaten each
other, taking out their anger on Olive Oyl (Cher); and composer
Johann Strauss (Sonny), attempting to write his first waltz, gets
some unexpected help from his wife (Cher).
6. Sonny and Cher close the
show with "I Got You Babe"
SHOW
4
Guest: Jim Nabors
1. Sonny and Cher open the
show with "Got To Get You Into My Life" and a comedy dialogue.
2. "The Vamps" -- Cher appears
in comedy sketches as the sneaky Mata Hari, the willing-to-please
Minnie Mouse, and the sinful Sadie Thompson.
3. Britain's King George III
(Jim) offers a rebuttal to a Bicentennial Minute.
4. Sonny and Cher perform
"Baby, Don't Get Hooked On Me"
5. Jim is cast as a foreign
legionnaire about to abandon the fort.
6. Cher sings "Bang Bang (My
Baby Shot Me Down)"
7. "The Walnuts" -- Jim, playing
the part of Jim-Boy, joins Sonny and Cher in a musical-comedy
takeoff on "The Waltons."
8. Sonny and Cher close the
show with "I Got You Babe"
SHOW
5
Guests: Don Knotts and Chastity Bono
1. Sonny and Cher open the
show with "Take Life a Little Easier" and banter about Sonny having
negotiated a deal with a major studio to do a movie about his
life with Cher.
2. "The Battle Of the Sexes"
-- Cher plays a liberated woman coming home after a hard day's
work to find Sonny so wrapped up in his card game with the boys
that he forgot to have dinner ready and Don devastated that his
wife walked out on him the night before.
3. Sonny and Cher perform
a medley of "United We Stand" and "Without You"
4. "The Sonnytone News" --
A TV newscaster (Don) demonstrates a gimmick that allows him to
deliver the news with a steady, sincere stare; all three major
TV networks clear time for the great political debate; the world's
oldest taxicab driver (regular Gailard Sartain) speaks out at
his retirement party; the youngest pitchman in TV history (Chastity)
tapes a spot on her used tricycle lot; and the ever-popular Laverne
(Cher) is named the first woman ambassador to Great Britain.
5. A heartbroken romantic
(Cher) is convinced that a stranger she just met (Don) plans to
jump from a bridge and agrees to spend the evening with him at
her place.
6. Cher sings "Solitaire"
7. "The Prisoner" -- Rocko
(Sonny) looks forward to a visit from his girl (Cher), who's been
living high off the money he stole.
8. Chastity presents her ideas
for a new TV network, which would include "Monday Night Hopscotch"
and a Sunday evening lineup of "The Pinocchio (Cher) and Gepetto
(Sonny) Show" and "Koquak", a detective show starring Don as Lt.
Koquak, with appearances by Mickey Mouse (regular Ted Zeigler),
Superman (regular Billy Van), Porky Pig (regular Gailard Sartain),
Sylvester the Cat (Sonny), and Tweety Pie (Cher and Chastity).
9. Sonny and Cher, with daughter
Chastity, close the show with "I Got You Babe"
SHOW
6
Guest: McLean Stevenson
1. Sonny and Cher open the
show with "You Are the Sunshine Of My Life" and banter about a
lecture Sonny attended that taught him how to get power.
2. "A Woman Behind Every Man"
-- Sonny plays Punch, who's receiving the blows from Judy (Cher)
and another puppet (McLean); the great Hannibal (McLean) takes
his wife (Cher) and their two obnoxious brats (regulars Ted Zeigler
and Billy Van) on a three-year elephant ride across the Swiss
Alps in search of an Italian dinner; and Robert Fulton (Sonny)
gets some ideas from his wife (Cher) when he isn't sure what his
invention of the steam engine can be used for.
3. Sonny and Cher perform
a medley of "Love Song" and "Hang On In There, Baby"
4. "The Case Book Of Sam Spade"
-- Elderly detective Sam Spade (Sonny) recalls "the case of the
jade wiener", which had been stolen from the Frankfort Museum.
(McLean appears as the mysterious stranger who's tailing Spade
throughout the skit and Cher plays Shanghai Susie, the prime suspect
who has a monkey on her back.)
5. U. S. ambassador Henry
Kissinger is satirized in a brief skit about the signing of an
important document.
6. Cher sings "How Long Has
This Been Going On?"
7. "Gone With the Fat" --
McLean plays a roguish Fat Butler in a musical takeoff based on
Margaret Mitchell's passionate novel about life during the Civil
War -- with Cher appearing as an obese Scarlett O'Hara, Sonny
cast as one of her overweight suitors, and regular Ted Zeigler
playing her portly father.
8. Sonny and Cher close the
show with "I Got You Babe"
SHOW
7
Guests: Gabriel Kaplan and Frankie Avalon
1. Sonny and Cher open the
show with "How Sweet It Is (To Be Loved By You)" and banter about
how they haven't had one argument since they've started working
together again.
2. Laverne (Cher) and Frankie
recall fond memories of life in the '50s, when they tried to help
Arnold (Gabriel) save his malt shop by putting on a rock and roll
show with Bonzie (Sonny) in a takeoff on "Happy Days." Featured
oldies in the closing medley include: "Yesterday Once More" (Cher
and Frankie), "Rock Around the Clock" (everyone), "Jailhouse Rock"
(regular Gailard Sartain), "Little Darlin'" (Sonny, backed by
the show's regulars), "Venus" (Frankie), and "Rock and Roll Is
Here To Stay" (all).
3. "The Prisoner" -- Rocko
(Sonny) learns that his footloose wife (Cher) has a roommate named
Bernie who's promised to put her in the movies.
4. Sonny and Cher perform
a medley of "Two Of Us" and "We Can Work It Out"
5. Gabriel speaks at a Jokeaholics
Anonymous meeting, reminiscing about the time he was home in his
apartment and couldn't stop telling jokes.
6. Cher sings "Say It Isn't
So"
7. "Teams" -- Gabriel and
Frankie appear as sports announcers on "Monday Night Ballet",
calling the highlights of the world championship dance-off between
Rudolf Nereyev (Sonny) and his opponent, Margo Fontaine (Cher),
as they perform "Swan Lake"; and Bob Hope (Gabriel) and Bing Crosby
(Frankie) are smitten by the lovely Dorothy Lamour (Cher) in a
spoof of the pair's road movies.
8. Sonny and Cher close the
show with "I Got You Babe"
SHOW
8
Guests: Debbie Reynolds and The Smothers Brothers
1. Tommy Smothers tries to
fill Sonny's shoes in an opening number with Cher.
2. Sonny and Cher sing "Can't
Take My Eyes Off Of You"
3. "The Sunshine Girls" --
Debbie and Cher perform in a distaff version of "The Sunshine
Boys."
4. The Smothers Brothers bring
Sonny into their act, singing "I Write the Songs"
5. Cher sings "The Way Of
Love"
6. "The Battle Of the Sexes"
-- Debbie comes to dinner at the home of Cher and househusband
Sonny.
7. Sonny and Cher perform
a medley of "I'm Gonna Make You Love Me" and "My World Is Empty
Without You"
8. "The 28th Annual Bozo Awards"
-- Sonny and Cher are featured in a takeoff of awards shows.
9. Sonny and Cher close the
show with "I Got You Babe"
SHOW
9
Guests: Diahann Carroll and Tony Randall
1. Sonny and Cher open the
show with "The Beat Goes On" and banter with Sonny being concerned
about Cher performing in her condition.
2. "Dolls In the Navy" --
Cher and Diahann are featured in a musical spoof of the film "On
the Town", appearing as two sailors on a ten-minute leave in New
York City looking on men, with Tony and Sonny cast as a pair of
dancers they meet and fall in love with. Featured songs include:
"New York, New York", "The Fleet's In", "Hey, Big Spender", "Brother,
Can You Spare a Dime?", "Ten Bucks a Dance" and "Wearing Navy
Blue and Fourteen-Carat Gold."
3. Diahann sings "God Bless
the Child"
4. "The Prisoner" -- Rocko
(Sonny) finds out that his girl (Cher) has been cheating on him
with the judge who will be deciding his case.
5. "The Vamps" -- Silent movie
queen Theda Bara (Cher) invites two eager suitors (Sonny and Tony)
to join her in the bath; the mighty Caesar (Tony) is warned by
his soothsayer (Sonny) that Cleopatra (Cher) will try to vamp
him; and Sadie Thompson and the preacher (Sonny and Cher) each
prepare for their much-needed vacations by getting substitutes
(Tony and Diahann) to replace them while they're away.
6. "The Sonnytone News" --
Blackouts based on headlines in the news include a marathon runner
(Sonny) who's carrying the Olympic torch from Greece to Montreal,
prison inmates revolting over the poor quality of their food,
the abrupt firing of the NBC peacock (Tony) after twenty years
of faithful service to the network, and King Kong's move from
New York to Miami Beach.
7. Cher joins Diahann for
a musical salute to "The Wiz" with a medley of "I Was Born On
the Day Before Yesterday" and "Ease On Down the Road"
8. Sonny and Cher close the
show with "I Got You Babe"
SHOW
10
Guests: George Gobel and Chastity Bono, Cameo appearance by Sherman
Hemsley
1. Sonny and Cher open the
show with "Put a Little Love In Your Heart" and show a film clip
of the numerous takes it took for them to tape an introduction
for Raymond Burr on their second show.
2. George appears as a monk
whose spirits are lifted by a bit of brew.
3. Cher sings "Gypsys, Tramps
and Thieves"
4. "A Woman Behind Every Man"
-- A tipsy Sir Isaac Newton (George) invents the screwdriver and
gets hammered on by his wife (Cher); and John Dillinger (Sonny)
is disrupted by his whining wife (Cher) during a holdup.
5. "Alfredo and the Bull and
the Bell" -- George narrates the tale of a novice bullfighter
(Sonny) who fights the bull to win the money to fix the clapper
on the town's bell.
6. Sonny appears as a window-washer
in this dramatization of the selling of "The Sonny and Cher Show"
to a TV executive (Cher).
7. Sonny and Cher perform
"Dancin' In the Street"
8. "The Sonnytone News" --
Among the items featured, Chastity Bono is nominated as a Presidential
candidate by the 70 million Americans under 18 who are not represented
in Congress, with the Bonz (Sonny) as her running mate; reporter
Barbara Nauseous (Cher) interviews an aging Snow White (Sherman)
in a Butte, Montana diner to get an update on the seven dwarfs;
and silent film star Curtis Darebanks (Sonny) attempts to make
a big screen comeback.
9. Sonny and Cher, with daughter
Chastity, close the show.
SHOW
11
Guests: Andy Griffith and Sherman Hemsley
1. Sonny and Cher open the
show with "There's a Kind Of Hush" and an opening dialogue.
2. "Sonny's Pizza Parlor"
-- Restaurateur Sherman attempts to do in competitor Sonny.
3. "The Sonnytone News" --
Sketches taking a comedic look at some of the current headlines
in the news include reports on the televised coverage of Congressional
sessions, a bankrupt city's efforts to get out of debt, and the
adventures of an unemployed King Kong.
4. Sonny and Cher perform
a medley of "December, 1963 (Oh, What a Night)" and "Lonely Nights
(Angel Face)"
5. "The Battle Of the Sexes"
-- A liberated male (Andy) gives advice to apron-bound Sonny.
6. Cher sings "Feelings"
7. Bono the Bold (Sonny) tries
to prove himself worthy of becoming one of King Arthur's square
knights of the round table.
8. Sonny and Cher close the
show.
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